The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay males wish to discover from useful reference the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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