The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. click reference Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take see here now place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full get more attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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