The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however next page the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane locations, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men want to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going see here now to be good?".

However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is visit homepage crucial. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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