The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner see it here options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar