The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded Home Page with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay guys want to discover from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out useful source that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner informative post choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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